


Time, space and critical thinking

by Contesina



Category: Doctor Who, Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Texting, Translation in English
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-11
Updated: 2014-07-11
Packaged: 2018-02-08 09:55:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1936509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Contesina/pseuds/Contesina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crocodiles feature prominently, or texting as means of interstellar communication. Tenth, Rose, John and Sherlock apply.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time, space and critical thinking

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [О гибкости мышления, а также времени и пространстве](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1040707) by [Contesina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Contesina/pseuds/Contesina). 



John Watson’s blog  
5 May 2010 

My friend Sherlock Holmes is an incredible person. Sometimes I think he has two hearts and an inexhaustible source of energy somewhere inside. He can be patient only when thinking over the case – well, occasionally. Just at the very beginning, to tell the truth. And then he jumps off the chair and runs away. And I run away with him. Adventures, nice to meet you.

roseaway wrote on 5 May 2010, 17.30 

Hello, just stumbled into your blog month ago, nice reading. You know, you just seem to describe my close friend. He is so restless as well and likes to get himself in trouble. He is difficult to get along with, isn’t he?  
NB: I’m Rose.

johnwatson wrote on 5 May 2010, 17.33  
Rose, nice to meet you. Thank you for reading my blog. Well, if your friend is at least a bit like Sherlock, then you must understand how being close to such person becomes a challenge of your life. You’ll never have anything close to predictable ever again. 

roseaway wrote on 5 May 2010, 17.35  
All becomes about discoveries, dungeons and deadly dangers?

johnwatson wrote on 5 May 2010, 17.40  
You named it: ) But that’s the point, isn’t it?

roseaway wrote on 5 May 2010, 17.42  
Exactly! Adventures, aliens and ants. More than one can ever imagine.

johnwatson wrote on 5 May 2010, 17.44  
Oh yeeeeess. New perspectives lurking at you at every angle and shadow. 

roseaway wrote on 5 May 2010, 17.47  
Giggles. I really let it go when I’ve found a tin can with a frozen swarm of killer wasps inside an ordinary-looking and totally alien-unpromising pirate treasure chest. That was a story told short. 

johnwatson wrote on 5 May 2010, 17.49  
Tin can? And we had a human head in our fridge. That was a story told quiet.  
Human head was not mine, by the way. Yet.  
Joking. 

roseaway wrote on 5 May 2010, 17.50  
You’re such fun, John. 

 

(128 private messages)

Hi. It’s me, hope I got the number right. R 

Quite right, glad to hear from you. JW 

How it’s all going? R 

Strangely serene for now. Convinced Sherlock it was high time to bring some order to his papers in old cases. Now I am dust-choked and sprinkled with something suspicious, but not gravely dangerous. And how are you? JW

All flowers. Helped granny with crocodiles. R 

Whose granny? JW 

Sorry, crocodiles? JW 

It appeared Doctor had granny, that’s a long story. Very spirited and challenge-oriented lady. R 

But, erm, crocodiles? JW 

She likes them very much. Crocodile derby is her favourite pastime in… well, at home. R 

Crocodile derby? There is such thing? JW

Well, if there are crocodiles in general, why not arrange a derby? I guess this is how things can develop in their course. R 

You sound like Sherlock. JW 

Your influence. Cheers for the next time. R 

*** 

Hi, are you awake? Got myself confused with the time zones. R

Hi, I am awake. Sherlock’s baking some nasty experimental thing at the kitchen, so no sleep guaranteed. How is the granny? He is also interested, by the way. JW 

Does he read your messages? R

You may imagine myself sighing desperately. JW

You may imagine myself patting you on the top of your head for support. R 

Thank you very much. JW 

We gave granny a nice lift home, she left us her hybrid cactus for good memories of her. She bred it herself, in between crocodile-related stuff. R 

Is she a biologist? JW 

A kind of. She is a very versatile old lady. R 

So, what it is bred with? JW 

Trying to find out at the moment. Not spitting, though. Looks hopeful. R 

Sherlock wants you to check the cactus’s grasping reflex. JW 

Well? JW

How did he guess? R

Said he had considered all the available information on granny. Is everything OK? JW 

Near-miss incident with my leg. R 

Be careful. Sherlock says that cactus size can be reciprocally proportional to its restraining force. Simply speaking, if it’s small, it will bite the hell out of you. JW 

Tell Sherlock he is right. R

Of course I am right. SH 

That’s Sherlock. Could not help himself. JW 

Thank you, Sherlock! Always nice to have a chat with a smart person! Sorry, we will be away for a while, stay tuned. D

Bye, John : ) R

See you soon, Rose. JW 

*** 

Hi, we’re back. R

Hi, glad to know you are on the line again. Everything is fine? JW 

As usual. Just saving the world, all that kind of crap. Nothing you could not do yourself. And what’s news? R 

In your opinion, little crocodile in the wash sink is fine? JW

Does it look nice? R

Dunno, did not check so close. It is snapping its teeth, maybe friendly. JW 

Look closer and tell me then. R

I think it may have jaundice. JW

If crocodiles have jaundice, otherwise it’s even worse. JW

Why do you think so? R

It is yellow. All over. JW

Look, did you have any weird old ladies around recently by chance? R 

Not at our flat, but Mrs. Hudson had a visitor yesterday, old acquaintance with a cat. JW 

What colour cat? R

Lilac. JW

I’ll ask Doctor then, he is good at queer species. Considering granny. R

Perhaps you’d come around someday? I’d like to meet you. And I’m sure Doctor and Sherlock could have a great chat together. JW 

I think I could arrange this. R 

***

Going to visit Charles Dickens soon. Tried those hoop petticoats. Dreadful. R 

Are you going for long? JW

Dunno. R

Depending on the number of aliens we’ll have there. D

Reckon there will be aliens? JW

They’re everywhere. D

I start thinking of it as inevitable. : ) R

Bring me Queen Victoria’s fingerprints. SH 

And DNA sample. Need to prove a theory. SH 

Are you copying me everything? Ask Mycroft. I’m in a shop, anything you want? JW 

Fingerprints are easy. DNA sample could be a problem, she bites. D 

Your assumption of my not having access to these interplanetary communications is highly incorrect. MH 

Then you’ll definitely have that DNA thing. D

Buy Sherlock milk. Make him drink it. MH 

Milk? JW

Yes. I used all we had in the fridge to soak eyeballs. Nothing’s left for cookies. SH 

Queen’s DNA! SH

Sherlock, he understood the message. His level of curiosity is in no way lesser than yours. MH 

Do bring those samples; I would prefer not to disturb our current Majesty. MH 

And if theory proves correct? D 

That would be very interesting. SH 

That would be very interesting. MH 

John, distract Sherlock somehow, we need to get TARDIS started. R 

*** 

Hi, how are you? JW

Hi, just jumped out of the erupting volcano, and the rest if fine. And you? R 

Nothing special as well. Just two serial killers and microwave exploded. JW 

Lucky you. D

He reads from behind my shoulder. R 

Me too. SH 

Where this volcano is situated? SH 

Five billion years in future and a couple more seconds. D 

Any fingerprints available in these conditions? SH 

Fingerprints are. D

The rest could be a problem. D 

For humans? SH 

No idea, only daleks here. D 

Worse than Moriarty, really. R 

Then come back here. We have no daleks. JW 

Sure of it? Usually they pop up exactly after such declaration. R 

There are no daleks in London at the moment. I would know otherwise. SH 

Confirmed. MH 

Could you stop cramming the space with your texting at least for a day? Tomorrow we expect to launch new satellite into orbit. MH 

Want to launch it without going awry? D

Exactly. This is for good of all humankind. MH 

He confessed laboring for good of all humankind! JW, SH 

Hallelujah. D, R

Maybe want us to bring you something? D

No, thank you very much. MH

King Arthur’s sword, for example. There, it will be lost in two hundred years anyway. D

I do not hold cold arms in high esteem. MH

King Arthur in person, then? Statesmen, you know. D

I do not feel compelled to resort to crisis management advice. But thank you anyway. MH 

Finished? SH

Sherlock, we launch TARDIS, Doctor says tomorrow may go off the line. Take your time with the satellite. R 

You are the only sensible person here, miss. MH

If you find new species of crocodile, bring it back with you. SH 

Heaven forbid, our current one is still in its teens. Rose, hope to see you soon. JW


End file.
